Today I was contacted via Skype by someone trying to scam me at a boilerhouse operation somewhere in Africa. The conversation took nearly an hour. You will not believe just how stupid this person is. Read on if you want to laugh out loud.
[15:37:18] momoh abdul: abdulmomoh677210 says: HELLO ,
MY NAME IS ABDUL ALHAJI MOMOH
I WANT YOU TO KEEP WHAT I WANT TO TELL YOU VERY SECRET, I AM A CITIZEN OF LIBYA I ARRIVED GHANA NOT TOO LONG , I ESCAPE THE CRISIS OVER THERE AND MY FATHER WAS A VICTIM OF THE WAR, AND I CAME WITH MY LATE FATHER THREE CONSIGNMENT BOXES CONTAIN ( 40 MILLION USD ), BECAUSE MY FATHER WAS THE OWNER OF (METRO MINE MINING DUST GOLD COMPANY,) AT LIBYA ,THE CONSIGNMENT BOXES IS DEPOSIT IN REPUBLIC OF GHANA GLOBAL SECURITY COMPANY I NEED A NICE AND GOD FEARING BENEFICIARY WHO WILL HELP ME CLAIM OUT THE BOXES OUT OF THE SECURITY COMPANY AND RECEIVE AND INVEST ON THE BOXES THANKS WAITING FOR YOUR REPLY WITH YOUR FULL DETAILS IF INTERESTED IN HELPING ME.
ABDUL ALHAJI MOMOH
contact my barrister
Barrister Mark Anderson
+233 232 622 106
[16:23:27] momoh abdul: i need your help
[16:27:25] Ian Williams: Fuck off you dim twat
[16:27:44] momoh abdul: hello sir
[16:27:58] Ian Williams: You want my bank account details?
[16:28:18] momoh abdul: no sir
[16:28:33] momoh abdul: i need your help
[16:28:49] Ian Williams: A picture of my auntie sucking off a donkey (that might be possible by the way…)
[16:29:02] Ian Williams: My help? For brain surgery?
[16:29:24] momoh abdul: can you help me
[16:29:33] Ian Williams: By the way, what’s your favourite colour?
[16:29:55] Ian Williams: I can help you
[16:30:02] Ian Williams: Yes of course
[16:30:06] Ian Williams: No problem
[16:30:11] Ian Williams: Anything you want
[16:30:43] momoh abdul: i want you to be my benefiary/trustee
[16:31:09] Ian Williams: Who would win in a fight between a giraffe with a machine gun and a buffalo with a shotgun?
[16:31:16] Ian Williams: That’s very generous of you
[16:31:20] momoh abdul: to help me received my late father funds in your counry
[16:31:53] Ian Williams: Wow – but you didn’t say whether you wanted the picture of my auntie or not. That is an essential part of the deal for me
[16:32:34] momoh abdul: please sir help me
[16:33:19] Ian Williams: OK
[16:33:28] Ian Williams: And the donkey picture?
[16:34:03] momoh abdul: i want you to stand for me as a father to received it
[16:34:49] momoh abdul: then you help me invest it in your counry
[16:35:07] Ian Williams: Do you ever get the feeling that someone is wasting your time? Time that you could be spending attempting to scam another unwitting idiot who has never heard of a boiler house scam? If not, please carry on…
[16:35:29] Ian Williams: I’m enjoying this
[16:35:56] Ian Williams: By the way… you’re an idiot. A complete and utter idiot.
[16:36:03] Ian Williams: Carry on
[16:36:07] momoh abdul: please sir i am not scaming you
[16:36:13] Ian Williams: Of course
[16:36:36] momoh abdul: this is truth sir
[16:36:56] Ian Williams: This isn’t the 25th time this week that someone from Africa has offered to transfer their dead father’s money into my bank account
[16:37:05] Ian Williams: …this week…
[16:37:25] momoh abdul: i am 17 years oid sir i cant scam you
[16:37:33] Ian Williams: Momoh. You are an idiot. Repeat after me. “I am an idiot”
[16:38:00] momoh abdul: no sir
[16:38:00] Ian Williams: Oh, of course. Do you really want to continue doing this. We could be here all night?
[16:38:42] momoh abdul: sir ok you can not help me
[16:39:18] Ian Williams: If you get the distinct feeling that someone doesn’t believe you (which I don’t and never will), why don’t you try to find someone else rather than continuing to persuade me?
[16:39:36] Ian Williams: That, sir, is why you are an idiot
[16:39:55] momoh abdul: no sir
[16:40:06] Ian Williams: a first class idiot
[16:40:21] Ian Williams: Okay – tell me what we do next to get this money into my country
[16:40:26] Ian Williams: Come on
[16:40:48] momoh abdul: i want you to benefit from me sir belive me
[16:40:56] Ian Williams: I believe you
[16:41:04] Ian Williams: okay – so what next
[16:41:10] Ian Williams: ???
[16:41:18] Ian Williams: i
[16:41:20] Ian Williams: d
[16:41:21] Ian Williams: i
[16:41:23] Ian Williams: o
[16:41:24] Ian Williams: t
[16:41:35] momoh abdul: no sir
[16:41:42] Ian Williams: yes sir
[16:41:51] momoh abdul: daddy help me
[16:42:05] momoh abdul: no father
[16:42:05] Ian Williams: Daddy? Who’s your daddy?
[16:42:17] Ian Williams: (happy)
[16:42:36] momoh abdul: you sir
[16:42:46] Ian Williams: Dance bitch
[16:42:56] Ian Williams: \o/
[16:43:15] momoh abdul: why this sir
[16:43:24] Ian Williams: Cos i’m your daddy
[16:43:42] momoh abdul: ok sir
[16:44:01] momoh abdul: daddy well you help me
[16:44:59] Ian Williams: Yes – but you have to dance first
[16:46:12] momoh abdul: i can not dance why because i am in the refugee camp in accra ghana
[16:46:16] Ian Williams: Just maybe a little jig
[16:46:37] Ian Williams: A slight shimmy maybe
[16:47:28] momoh abdul: daddy please ;(
[16:47:41] Ian Williams: So – how do we get the $40 million into my country then?
[16:49:40] momoh abdul: you will cantact my father barrister then he well tel you how to go about it daddy
[16:49:41] Ian Williams: Abdul – I can feel the money slipping between my fingers. No! No! Please
[16:50:19] Ian Williams: You want me to contact my own barrister?
[16:50:27] Ian Williams: I’m your daddy
[16:50:39] momoh abdul: yes daddy
[16:51:03] Ian Williams: (Sometimes I wear dresses at the weekend. I could be your mummy too)
[16:51:29] Ian Williams: And your Great Uncle Albert – I have a monicle
[16:51:37] momoh abdul: better sir
[16:51:48] Ian Williams: Abdul?????
[16:51:59] momoh abdul: daddy
[16:52:27] Ian Williams: You want me to phone that number?
[16:53:43] Ian Williams: Do you have a lot of time on your hands????
[16:53:59] momoh abdul: i well give you his email addres to contact him on my beif daddy
[16:54:41] Ian Williams: I have no fingers
[16:54:41] momoh abdul: Barrister Mark Anderson
+233 232 622 106
[16:54:49] Ian Williams: I cannot type
[16:55:09] Ian Williams: or press buttons on the phone
[16:55:27] momoh abdul: ok sir
[16:55:40] Ian Williams: Seriously dude, just how stupid are you? Really???????
[16:56:08] Ian Williams: This happens to me about 23.4 times per week
[16:56:33] momoh abdul: how do you writh me now daddy
[16:56:46] Ian Williams: How many millionnaire orphans are there in Africa anyway?
[16:57:00] Ian Williams: I thought everyone there was poor
[16:57:29] Ian Williams: But no. The UN and the WHO have got it all wrong
[16:57:50] momoh abdul: i no the one my late father letf behand for me
[16:58:19] momoh abdul: can you help me daddy
[16:58:23] momoh abdul: no food
[16:58:25] Ian Williams: But you get a prize. For being the most idioticly persistent person I have ever met
[16:58:30] momoh abdul: no water
[16:59:26] Ian Williams: I would conserve your energy then. I hear that typing can dehydrate you.
[16:59:53] Ian Williams: (whew)
[17:00:08] momoh abdul: daddy help me
[17:00:40] Ian Williams: Why does your barrister have a hotmail account?
[17:00:48] Ian Williams: Sorry – gmail account??
[17:01:08] Ian Williams: You haven’t thought this out very weel have you
[17:01:41] momoh abdul: you send me you email so i give it to him to contact you
[17:05:09] Ian Williams: Seriously – you must be the most stupid person I have ever met. You think that by typing away you can persuade me to do this, but I have told you so many times that I will not. I have insulted you, I have been rude to you, but you still feel that you can trust a complete and utter stranger through sheer persistence. You are wasting your time, but still you carry on. You are truly stupid. But I am happy to continue this conversation, as for every second we are having this conversation, you are not trying to waste someone else’s time. This is fun. This is a sport. It will NEVER happen. Want to carry on??
[17:05:57] Ian Williams: abdul = idiot
[17:06:33] momoh abdul: help me sir
[17:06:42] Ian Williams: Seriously???
[17:07:00] momoh abdul: ok daddy
[17:07:01] Ian Williams: Okay – I have emailed your barrister
[17:07:28] Ian Williams: A picture of my auntie performing fellatio on a donkey
[17:07:38] momoh abdul: ok daddy thanks
[17:07:39] Ian Williams: It is done
[17:07:49] momoh abdul: ok sir
[17:07:54] Ian Williams: Nothing to worry about
[17:08:01] Ian Williams: Do you believe me?
[17:08:03] momoh abdul: god bless you
[17:08:40] Ian Williams: There is no god for you. Just fire. Eternal fire. Eating on your soul
[17:08:51] Ian Williams: There is no rest
[17:09:24] momoh abdul: you are oldder than me so i belive you daddy
[17:09:31] Ian Williams: Let me know when the email arrives
[17:09:54] momoh abdul: and you are now my daddy for life
[17:10:06] Ian Williams: YOU ARE STUPID
[17:10:23] momoh abdul: daddy why this
[17:10:31] Ian Williams: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
[17:10:59] Ian Williams: Do, do, do, come on and do the conga
[17:11:31] Ian Williams: Choo choo choo, let’s train across the floor
[17:11:47] momoh abdul: daddy why
[17:11:57] Ian Williams: I
[17:12:01] Ian Williams: D
[17:12:02] Ian Williams: I
[17:12:03] Ian Williams: O
[17:12:05] Ian Williams: T
[17:12:23] Ian Williams: Read the chain
[17:12:25] Ian Williams: No
[17:12:27] Ian Williams: ???
[17:12:52] Ian Williams: You think if you keep up the act I will eventually cave in and believe you?
[17:13:20] Ian Williams: I think we could be on for a record here
[17:13:44] momoh abdul: daddy see i am not who you think am
[17:13:45] Ian Williams: Is there an Olympics for idiots?
[17:13:56] momoh abdul: i am not scaming you daddy
[17:13:59] Ian Williams: WOW – at last
[17:14:09] Ian Williams: YES YOU ARE
[17:14:18] momoh abdul: no daddy
[17:14:20] Ian Williams: WHY ARE YOU WASTING YOUR TIME
[17:14:28] momoh abdul: belive me
[17:14:55] Ian Williams: I WILL NEVER EVER EVER BELIEVE YOU. I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU ARE WASTING YOUR TIME
[17:15:11] momoh abdul: because i need you to help me out of hear
[17:15:20] Ian Williams: Barristers don’t use gmail accounts
[17:16:11] Ian Williams: Why not try another random idiot? You will have to try for a long time to find someone more stupid than you. This could literally take an eternity
[17:16:43] Ian Williams: With you being the most stupid person in the whole of human history
[17:17:05] momoh abdul: ok daddy bye bye
[17:17:15] Ian Williams: Really – you’re going?
[17:17:15] momoh abdul: i will miss you
[17:17:25] Ian Williams: I don’t believe you
[17:17:33] Ian Williams: You will carry on typing
[17:17:44] Ian Williams: Because you are stupid
[17:18:12] momoh abdul: daddy you are blest
[17:18:47] Ian Williams: Before I block you, can I copy and paste the text so that I can post it on the internet?